Code for Lust (A Vignette)
“I’m going in to take a shower.”
That simple phrase had become like a code for us. From the very beginning it seemed to have much more meaning to it. An invitation, a simple teasing phrase that stirred fire in us. He often would saunter up behind me to pull my hips back against his. Maybe reaching up with one arm to hold my chest. His forearm resting on my heart between my breasts as I leaned back to kiss him. Other times I would already be undressing down the hall before the phrase even registered to him.
This time though I am already in the shower before he joins me. My head is back as I am rinsing my hair when he pulls back the curtain and steps in. I look at the man, smiling, as he reaches out and pinches me playfully. The shower is a place we can be ourselves with each other. No roommates to annoy, no pets to demand our attentions. Just the two of us. Our hands explore the other hungrily, pleadingly, for we knew in the next month our visits would be scarce. The shower itself was short, my washing almost done when he joined me. We finished up his wash after the first embrace and roaming of hands. We stayed in the shower a bit longer in each other’s arms, letting the water pour over us in quiet.
Whelp…
I didn’t make it. I got depressed half way through the third week and had already fallen behind so I didnt make the goal. Such is life, I am going to see if i can pick it up beginning of the new year and start again. I have had time to mull stuff over in my head. THis story will happen. and it wont be as poorly written as twilight.
for now peace and happy winter holidays
Photo with 1 note
Zach and Azaziah
Zach is in the back with the blue in his hair.
Azaziah is a dude
©Copyright Meghan McNeill 2011
Muther fucking shit damn fuck! Character death! If you dont like it dont read it.
Oh my gods in heaven and hell. We’ve all read a book where our favorite character dies, I have read more than I can count. I think the first book was LLW by cslewis… Later Emperor Mage by Tamora Pierce, Harry Potter series… Where the red fern grows…
I am an emotional person, Reading these scenes always pull my heartstrings. I get attached to characters and I truly feel for them and their friends when they die. However, I did not expect while writing a scene in which a character dies I would be so sad. I FUCKING KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!!! Its taken me two days to get to this scene because I have been putting it off and I honestly couldnt figure out why I was. I was avoiding my story like it was syphilis. But when the scene was being written I could feel my emotions for that character flowing into the words, I felt confused and scared like they did when they realized that body on the floor was their own. I hurt like them when they questioned how their friends and family were going to take it.
I marvel at being able to kill a character, especially one I put a lot of effort into and I don’t think I could have done it without being emotional, but wow… this is hard.
Excerpt #6 Zach & Azaziah Rated: M for Mature
Zach fumbled with the lock, pushing the door open and going back to kissing the angel. He kicked the door closed behind him, pushing his hands up underneath the other man’s shirt. When Azaziah hits the wall he lets out a groan that is mixed pleasure and pain. Zach’s tongue still entwined with his, Zach presses his leg between the angel’s pushing their bodies closer. Zach broke the kiss to help Azaziah out of his shirt, taking the time to unclasp his cloak and pull off his shirt as well. He let out a heavy breath when he took in the angels torso, his muscles rippled under his skin. His skin was pale and he had little hair, the most noticeable was the trail of hair under his navel. Azaziah was relieved that Zach was taking the initiative in this venture, he was breathless and unsure of what to do next. His wings curled around the two of them loosely as he watched the boy trace his hands over his body. The angel touched timidly back enticing a breathy moan from Zach.
Clawing now at the couch, Azaziah was bent over the arm, Zach had his clothed groin pressed against the angel. Zach kissed along the angels wings causing soft mewls to escape the other man’s lips. He wrapped his arms around Azaziah’s waist and pulling him close, feeling soft down against his own chest. He kissed the mans back and neck and lead him to the bedroom, clothes still scattered around the living room and hall.
With the lights off clothes were removed. In the dark lovers find comfort in each other’s arms. Skin touches skin in ways that cause grown men to call out to the empty air. Hands ran across feathered wings as breaths intermingled. Hair was pulled in frantic, heated kisses. Fingernails ran sharply across shoulders and down chests. Sweat gleamed on bodies and heavy panting filled the room with steamy air. Zach fumbled in his bedside table and Azaziah gasped as something was rolled over his manhood.
“Safty first.” Zach whispered as an explanation. From there events that night got much more intense. Azaziah was reeling from all the new sensations wondering why he had never sought this out with another before. Celestial beings are not forbidden this, there just seemed to always be so much going on. Through the course of the night the two had switched roles many times. Azaziah pressed against the cool wall, his breath fogging against the paint. He scratched at the wall, letting out low moans as Zach kissed at his wings from behind him. He remembered sometime later Zach wrapping his legs around Azaziah’s waist, the angel pressing him against the wall this time, kissing him deeply.
Zach lay comfortably in the angel’s arms, their breaths in sync. The sweat evaporated from their bodies, chilling them in the afterglow. They shared innocent kisses as Zach drifted slowly to sleep. Azaziah happily watched as the dark turned to a silvery light of the morning.
©Copyright Meghan McNeill 2011
Premonitions
Azaziah ran his fingers over the tarot cards, feeling energy being put off by each deck. He smiled and gingerly touched the candles and then the incense. The angel was somber in his tasks taking in everything with all senses. Zach watched the angel for a little while before looking in a case at Sterling silver and stainless steel pendants. His eyes fell on an ankh that was about the size of his fist that was also a sheathed dagger. Though he did not much care for the knife, the design of the ankh and the patterns about the blade and the ankh itself made him decide to buy the pendant. It came with a silver chain, and when he put it on it fell nicely to the middle of his chest. Zach walked over to his sister who was admiring a case of statuary. The case was full of ancient gods and goddesses from Europe, Africa, Asia, as well as generic forms. The woman sitting at the table next to the window smiled at them.
“I love the Ceridwen statue, she is so full of energy.” The woman smiled a jolly smile, her painted red lips curling up her cheeks, though she had pain in her eyes. She shifted her weight around to get a better look at the twins.
“Your auras are so beautiful, I have never seen one like it before. I believe great things will come to you soon, but also…”
She cut herself off closing her eyes, “It also seems like there is a great bit of hardship in your lives. Be careful who you trust, not all are who they say they are. I believe you will do great things but those people can really pull you down. Be careful.” She opened her eyes and smiled at them.
“Don’t worry though, you will be fine. everything turns out the way it is supposed to in the hand of the goddess.”
The twins nodded and thanked her, slightly disturbed by the prediction, even if they did not really believe it. Azaziah was paying for a few stones and another book as the twins walked outside. They heard the bell on the door go off soon after as the angel followed them
©Copyright Meghan McNeill 2011
Dialogue
“Shhhh Stop! No don’t scream, why can she see us?” Zach looked over at Chloe but she didn’t have an answer for him. She was too busy trying to get the woman to settle down. The woman was walking toward them flailing her arms out in front of her as if to shoo them away.
“Get out demons! You did this to me, I want you to leave! Get out, get out!”
“Hey lady, you need to calm down,” Chloe retorted.
“Calm down?! I wake up looking at myself in a hospital bed and suddenly you appear! Demons!”
“Sorry to inform you, but we did not do this to you, and we are not demons.” Zach tried to calm her down, noticing then that she was in fact the same person as the one laying in the hospital bed. “We are here because, well, you are dead. I think.”
The woman, whose name was Lisa Johnson according to the chart on her bed, looked at them skeptically and then motioned to the monitors that were tracking her breathing and heartbeat.
“According to that I am not! Now I want you to leave.”
“We can’t, not until we, uh, well reap you.” He looked over at Chloe, “We really need a new term for that, that sounds so archaic.”
“You are demons!”
“Lady we are not demons! How many demons do you know that wear glitter?” Chloe pointed to Zach’s shirt and cloak that still had glitter on it despite him brushing it off earlier.
“I- well none, but I don’t know of any grim reaper having any glitter either.” She replied rather indignantly.
“We are new at this,” they replied in unison, Zach rather defensively.
“Suppose I believe you, and I am not saying I do, that means what exactly?”
“Well, we have to help you accept that you are dead. You have to be accepting of the fact before you can pass over. The crossing part is easy though, I think.” Zach fumbled over his words not really knowing what to tell this poor woman. Usually he was cool and collected, sure of what to say and when to say it. He felt so exposed not knowing what to say or how to keep Lisa calm.
“So you are supposedly grim reapers, who have to convince me I am dead which I am obviously not,” She pointed again at the monitors, “and you THINK the crossing is easy?”
“Well technically we are just reapers, Grimm is a name.” Zach smiled awkwardly.
“Lady-”
“Lisa.” Zach interrupted.
“What?”
“Lisa, her name is Lisa. It says on her chart.”
“Fine, Lisa, you are dead. We don’t need to convince you of anything, we just have to get you to the other side. We know how to do that a hard way too. We just need to burn your body, but I hear that is excruciating.” Chloe was done playing nice. She didn’t even know if that would work, usually the souls they came across just needed to tell their story to someone and they would pass over on their own. Zach looked over at his sister and back at Lisa.
“What will happen to my body when I am gone?”
“Well it will stay alive provided the machines work.”
“What about my family?” The idea Lisa was actually dead seemed to be sinking in.
“Your family will mourn and then go on with their lives, being ever changed for having known you and always holding a piece of you with them.” Zach replied, feeling good about his answer. It was honest, but comforting.
“Oh my God! But - I have a living will, they aren’t to take me off life support. I can’t die! I must go back now!” Lisa was panicking again.
“Oh my god is right, you seriously freak out more than he does over shoes. Calm down!”
“I take offense to that, that was ONE time, and they were fabulous shoes!”
Both of the women just stared at Zach and he looked slightly embarrassed, “One time,” he mumbled.
“You can’t go back, your family will survive. Just calm down.”
“Well can you answer me this? Where am I going?”
Zach looked at his sister, her brown and green eyes looking back at his green ones, they did not have an answer for her.
“We can’t answer that,” Zach said after a moment of silence, “I’m sorry.”
Lisa sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of the bed, a very human thing to do. Which is not surprising as she had not been a spirit for long. Chloe tugged Zach’s cloak and they walked back to the other side of the room.
“Let’s give her some time, she needs it.” Chloe had compassion on her face for the soul and Zach was inclined to agree with her. Grimm had not given them a time limit so he figured a little time to let the spirit- Lisa take in the news was okay.
After a few minutes Lisa walked over to the two reapers and smiled sadly. They turned and looked at her, she seemed at peace with her situation. Zach could not blame her for taking her time, he didn’t think he could let go of his time on earth either, he just hoped wherever he went after that he would be able to hold onto the memories he made here.
“Okay I think I am ready,” she said softly.
Zach and Chloe looked at each other and suddenly each of their hands started shimmering silver. Chloe reached out and clasped hands with Zach and Lisa and just as Zach was about to do the same Lisa spoke evenly,
“Beware of false Prophets who come to you in lambs’ clothing, but from within they are plundering wolves.”
Lisa reached over and grasped Zach’s hand, completing the circle, and disappeared.
“That was that?!” Chloe asked.
“I believe it was a biblical passage, but I am not sure it has been a while since I have read the book. The stories are interesting but there have been other things to read of late, I am reading the Vedas right now.”
“But why did she say it?”
“I couldn’t tell you, let’s get out of here.”
The beeping of the monitors were still steady as they left the room.
©copyright Meghan McNeill 2011
Excerpt #3 Azaziah Remembers
Sitting in a meadow again, he learned this meadow was called Gas Works Park, Azaziah looked out over the lake. He watched the sailing ships and the sun glint off the water. Looking over the lake he saw the city rise up out of the ground like giants. He wondered what the people in Babylon would have thought of even the smallest of the multi-story buildings here. The titanic buildings in the celestial realm resembled these artistic structures. Everything in the celestial realm resembled something on earth, or in the hearts of men. Azaziah was around when things started to take form there. For so long the realm was just energy, mercurial in the sense everything was moving and changing shape. When humans came to be, creation truly started. Their minds envisioned beautiful beings of light, envisioned messengers, gods, life, and a curious thing happened. When so many of these creatures believed it affected the celestial realm. Soon shapes formed, the energy began to manifest. Azaziah could remember when he first had a thought that was not part of the collective. It was a strange feeling, when he talked to his kin about it later he was glad to learn it was strange for them as well.
©Copyright Meghan McNeill 2011
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